Dealing With a Break Up

While the end of a relationship is never easy, dealing with a bad break up can make things even harder. I was with Nick for two years when I decided to end things. I knew that our break up was going to be hard, but it had become obvious that we just didn’t love each other anymore, even if we didn’t want to admit it. The break ups which are the messiest are ones were the two people involved work together, have children or own property.

While we didn’t have children, Nick and I did own an apartment and work together. I knew from the beginning that I would be dealing with a bad break up. Before I broke up with Nick I applied for a transfer to a different department so we wouldn’t have to see each other at work every day. I thought it might make dealing with a bad break up easier. It was approved, I placed up my desk and prepared to break up with Nick.

I had no idea how Nick would take it when I broke the news to him. I thought I should learn about dealing with a bad break up first, so I could make things easier. When I started to look for information online, I found plenty of books with good information and advice on the topic. I didn’t have to spend a lot of money, generally around $15 to $50 each.

The good thing about spending time learning about relationships is that I quickly came to understand I was making the right decision. What me and Nick had together was not healthy. Although we had good times, for the most part we fought. When I told him, he was stunned. He just sat at our kitchen table quietly. He left our apartment without speaking to me, I thought I might not be dealing with a bad break up after all. Maybe Nick knew just as much as I did that it was over.

I was wrong. An hour later Nick’s mother called me and started screaming down the phone. Later that night Nick called me and accused me of having an affair which was not true. My next lesson of dealing with a bad break up was learning to stay calm. I told Nick if he was abusive I could not speak to him. He kept calling me angry, so I told him to correspond only in writing.

At work the next day I was grateful for my transfer and the fact that Nick could not bother me at work. Of course, I was sad but also very relieved that we were finished. The next part of dealing with a bad break up is learning to get your own life back. A lot of the people I saw socially were mutual friends, many of whom took Nick’s side. I had to make an effort to start going out again.

A good way of dealing with a bad break up is to keep yourself busy. I caught up with old friends who I have now started seeing regularly again. I also started taking a salsa dance class, something I have wanted to do for a long time. It’s a great way to keep your mind occupied and meet new people.

It has been three months since I broke up with Nick. I think for the most part I am finished dealing with a bad break up. I have new friends and am dating a new man. We sold out apartment and I am happy in my new job. Although it was a painful experience, I know I did the right thing. I am a much happier person for it.

Find out more about Dealing With a Break Up and read about Dealing With a Broken Heart