Dealing With a Break Up

I can tell you from first hand experience how difficult dealing with a break up can be. My relationship with Toby was always rocky. After living together for a year, we both realized it wasn’t going to work. Despite this, it was a terrible break up. We both had strong feelings for each other. It took me a lot of time and courage to get over Toby, I learnt a lot along the way.

Even though I knew it was for the best, breaking up with Toby really took a toll on me emotionally. I felt drained and tired, the emotional side of dealing with a break up commonly has physical effects. The best thing I did was look after myself. I made sure that I was eating well and exercised every day. It was hard to meet these commitments, I would much rather have been in bed feeling sorry for myself. Making the effort paid off, I felt much better about myself.

Although it was difficult, I had to learn to keep a cool head. Dealing with a break up that involves joint property or assets is especially difficult. Toby and I didn’t own our home, but we had bought all of our furniture and appliances together. We would try and talk about things civilly, but it would always end in a screaming match. When we did speak I practiced giving calm answers. I really slowed down and took deep slow breaths.

Often I found it easier to deal with Toby in writing or via email as opposed to in person or over the phone. Even though I was now much more cool, calm and collected, seeing toby and hearing his voice would just bring all of my feelings for him flooding back. Dealing with a break up can be easier when you are in control of your feelings. I knew that letting myself feel this way about Toby would only lead to more heartache. A lot of the time I felt pain, but for the first few months it helped to reduce my contact with him.

One month after Toby moved out I was exhausted, physically and mentally. It was clear to everyone around me that I was not dealing with a break up well. There were two choices in front of me: I could continue in the same fashion and cause myself even more heartache and despair, or I could take action and learn how to deal with the situation better.

Educating yourself about relationships can make the process of dealing with a break up much easier. I found some ebooks online that talked about the nature of relationships and how they end. Some of them even helped with advice on break ups. They didn’t cost me a lot of money, for the most part they were in between $15 and $50.

No matter how great you feel about yourself beforehand, dealing with a break up is going to harm your self esteem. Make sure you take care of your appearance and hygiene, as this can help you to feel better about yourself. Do things that are just for you. Get a manicure or a massage. This can really boost your mood.

The only things that will help heal your heart is time. While there are a lot of steps you can take when dealing with a break up that will make your life much easier, it is important to remember that time will heal all wounds. What helped me most when dealing with a break up was learning to live my own life again.

I started catching up with old friends and making time for my family. When I started leading a social life I became happier, and in turn more able to deal with problems.

Find out more about Dealing With a Broken Heart and read about Getting Over An Ex